ComedyCentral Sesshomaru!
by ThunderSpeak
Summary: A series of one shotsdrabbles all having to do with Sesshy, starting from ways to annoy him to ways to make him laugh. Everything funny and secret about Sesshomaru.
1. 100 ways to piss Sesshomaru off

100 ways to really annoy Sesshomaru

By thunderspeak

Disclaimer: I wish. 

An: This is the newer version. =]]

1. Ask him what the fluffy is _really_ for.

2. Kick him in the crotch.

3. When he asks you why you did that, tell him you needed to know if he is a boy or not because you can't tell.

4. Remind him constantly that InuYasha has the Tetsusaiga and he doesn't.

5. Kidnap Rin.

6. Every single time he turns around, start laughing.

7. Tell him that he needs a cat.

8. Ask him why he doesn't have dog ears because they are _soo_ cute.

9. Ask him if he is a virgin.

10. Gasp, and tell him he has a zit.

11. See how he reacts, and take pictures of it.

12. Every time you see his stub, start screaming that he has no arm.

13. Ask him where he got his stripes done.

14. Poke him. (It's not original but it always works)

15. Ask him if he has a noodle. (Brain)

16. Scream like a fan girl every time he looks at you.

17. When he and Inuyasha are fighting yell, "Go InuYasha!" and sell Inuyasha merchandise.

18. Tell him later you lost 50 bucks because you were sure Inuyasha was going to win.

19. Talk about how wonderful humans are.

20. Tell him that his dad was _much_ sexier than he is.

21. Get pictures of Jaken naked, and give them to him.

22. Run away and take pictures of his expression.

23. Try playing fetch with him with a stick or a rock.

24. Get him a flea collar, and tell him that he needs flea shampoo.

25. Stare at him like there is something on his face.

26. Ask him if you can use his eye shadow.

27. Ask him if he has ever thought of being an underwear model.

28. When he acts all confused because he doesn't know what it is, give him an evil smile and run away cackling evilly.

29. Start speaking random things in Spanish and when he looks really confused tell him he must have not paid attention in school.

30. Then tell him that's probably why Inu Taisho was so disappointed in him and liked Inuyasha better.

31. Then run away screaming.

32. When he is about to say, "This Sesshomaru…" yell at him and ask him why he speaks like a 4 year old.

33. Die his fluffy pink, and switch his clothes with a fire rat robe.

34. Secretly tell Inuyasha all of his plans to steal Tetsusaiga.

35. Wear a t-shirt that says Half-demons rule.

36. Whenever he walks toward you, yell "Rape!" (Even though you wouldn't mind.)

37. For Halloween dress up as Inuyasha and challenge him for a Duel.

38. For another Halloween, dress up as him and act really girly.

39. Ask him how old he is.

40. When he says he is like 25, tell him you thought he was like 45.

41. Tell Sesshomaru that you made Jaken immortal, so Jaken can stay with him _forever_.

42. For the rest of the day repeat the word forever in a sing-song voice.

43. Tell him that it is okay to let his feelings out.

44. Give him a therapist's card, and tell him to call you.

45. Ask him what his sexual orientation is.

46. Every single time he kills a person say Sin #1, 374, 694, 584, 87263 or any other large number.

47. Say god will smite him in a booming voice.

48. Hug him.

49. Step on his fluffy while he is walking.

50. Ask him if he likes you or Rin better.

51. If he says Rin, tell him you shall smite him.

52. If he says you, tackle him and give him a big wet kiss on the cheek.

53. Every time he says something, yell "that's what she said!"

54. Be happy and giddy for the rest of the week.

55. Pretend to die and take pictures of his reaction. If he is smiling, jump up and say you are a zombie here to eat his brains.

56. If he is grieving, stand up and say "I never knew you had feelings Sesshy!

57. Put all pictures on websites (or give them to Inuyasha's group).

58. When everyone starts smelling something bad say, "Ewww. Sesshy you farted!"

59. When he is talking yawn uncontrollably.

60. Tell him he has gained weight.

61. When you walk into his castle for the first time, ask him why it's so small.

62. Tell him Inuyasha could afford better.

63. Jump on his bed and steal his clothes.

63. When he is just standing there thinking hum the jeopardy theme song.

64. Put Tabasco hot sauce in his food.

65. "Accidently" spill sake on his fluffy. Start crying.

66. Ask him what shampoo he uses.

67. Braid his hair in his sleep.

68. Ask him if he knows who the muffin man is.

69. Ask him for some whip cream, and put a cowboy hat on your door. Scream out, "Inuyasha, Ohhhh!"

70. Put black boxers with pink puppy paws in his drawer.

71. Pretend to read his palm, and tell him he is going to die in seven days.

72. Seven days later dress up as grudge and go into his room at night.

73. Put a bag of tampons in his room for the maids to discover.

74. Ask him how babies are made.

75. Tell him you know his secret, even though you don't know anything.

76. For the rest of the week give him all-knowing glances, and make him paranoid.

77. Sing, "Santa Clause is coming for you..."

78. Ask him how to spell Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious.

79. Ask him how the chicken crossed the road and then never give him an answer.

80. Get him a cat with matching fluffy and armor.

81. Tell him there is a giant black widow on his fluffy.

82. Tell him you're going to get Jaken to kill it, but leave him standing still not knowing if there really is a spider.

83. When he tells you the story of losing his arm, yell "You got served!"

84. Have a contest of who can hold there breath the longest, but secretly breath in though your nose.

85. When he loses shove it in his face. (Humans are better, etc.)

86. Ask him where he got his nails done.

87. Ask him what a hickie is. When he explains, say you don't understand and you would like a demonstration.

88. Sing "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world!" all day long. Then give him the music video for his Birthday.

89. After everything he says ask why.

90. Tell him you like eggs, over and over.

91. Pretend to whisper secrets in Rin's ear all the time, while pointing at him and laughing.

92. Tell him his cousin must be Bigfoot.

93. Cough in his face.

94. Ask him if there is such a thing as Dog-nip and where to get it. Try it.

95. Take all the meat products in the house and switch it with tofu.

96. Ask him what Tenseiga (His sword) does.

97. After he is done explaining, say "That's all?"

98. Ask him if it hurt. When he replies, "What hurt?" Say "When you fell down from heaven because you're so beautiful."

99. Use even cheesy-er pick-up lines like that. (Examples: You owe me a drink, because I dropped mine when I saw you.)

100. Show him the list.

Tell me if they work, and please review!


	2. Sesshomarus average day

-List of Today's Adventures-

Sesshomaru Taisho's planner

Note- DO NOT TOUCH, ANYONE.

1. Woke up at dawn, considered getting out of bed. Plan fell through, slept till noon.

2. Got up, took shower. Had to make hard choice. Herbal essences sleek and shine, or Treseme body and volume? Went for sleek and shine.

3. Got outfit, and went down to eating chambers for breakfast.

4. Saw the food, and decided against it. Fired kitchen staff. Killed Jaken, revived him.

5. Left for journey. Mission: Retrieve Tetsuiga, kill Inuyasha with Tetsuiga, and then enjoy alone time with Tetsuiga.

6. Failed at mission. Girl with short skirt, name escapes me, intervened. Must kidnap her later.

7. Walked around in forest, making it seem that I had an idea where I was going.

8. Contemplated on how to kill Naraku. Decided on whether ruining my nails is worth it.

9. Traveled more in the forest. Practiced cold indifference look.

10. Thought about important matters. Ex. Who should die first, Inuyasha or Naraku?

11. Walked by InuYasha group. Glanced at the females, pushed hair back seductively, and walked away.

12. Night began to fall, leaned against tree to think. A cover up for needing to scratch my back.

13. Inuyasha found me, and started yelling about seducing girl. Gave him indifference look. Yelled at me to answer him. Gave him indifference look again. Mirror practices seem to work, he walked away.

14. Peace and quite. Decided to break it with growling exercises.

15. Decided to fall asleep, but was disturbed when went over today's schedule. Concurred I have no life.

16. Peace and quite again. Decided to break it, with a big one. Birds in surrounding trees died. Laughed, then resurrected them with tensaigga.

17. Couldn't get to sleep, so looked at stars. "Where is the ceiling?" I questioned myself.

18. Had to reposition myself, feeling a nasty wedgie ride up. Looked around clearing, and then patiently fixed it. Let out sigh of relief.

19. Patiently licks arm, removing dirt. Something was lodged in throat, coughed it up. Huge white hairball appeared, big as my head. I threw it into the air, it hitting a bird that I had earlier revived. It squawked.

20. Poor bird. I lay back down. Tomorrow would be an even better day.


End file.
